Trojan Vibrating Ring

I'm not usually one who uses sex toys or anything for sexual enhancement, but yesterday Greg went to get some condoms and picked up the wrong box. Instead he got a Trojan Vibrating Ring and when I saw it I was confused at first but I was like we should try it(He was gonna throw it away but I insisted that we try it.) I must admit I loved that thing. I was in heaven and so was he. WOWWWWW. lmao! Just thinking about it makes me wanna go home and have sex right now! We slept good and woke up very happy:)

Loving Life

Fashion show rehearsal was very interesting last night. I met some guy from the Wire who will be in the fashion show and Jazz from Dru Hill; he will also be in the fashion show. I had fun practicing my Catwalk and networking. I could not stop laughing at all the guys drooling at us while we were practicing our walks. I just kept thinking to myself why don't yall get a life lmao. Don't you have something better to do, and damn can yall please stop staring at my ass! Overall I had a really good time and I can't wait for the fashion show! There are going to be all kinds of designers, local rappers and photographers there and I can't wait to mingle and make contacts for future projects. I know its gonna be off the chain!
While driving to DC yesterday I did a little recap of my life and I must say I'm happy with the road my life is going down. I'm drama free, I have all kinds of projects coming up and I have my wonderful family and friends by my side. So I told myself I don't need anyone from my past because if they were true they would still fuck with me no matter what and I don't need to beat myself up over anything that happened in the past either cuz what's done is done, and I have no regrets! I know I have evil thoughts sometimes and I know at times I can be a Bitch but I have come to the conclusion that we all do, some of us a little more than others, lololol.
I have started taking my religion a lot more serious and I will admit it has helped me. I used to have crazy blackouts at random times but they finally stopped, I even sleep through a whole night. I have finally made peace with myself and I'm very content with my life. I have always loved myself but I don't think I believed in myself. I stopped blaming my dad for the divorce and I even forgave my uncle whom for the longest time I hated. I cut out people who I think were no good for me and I am stronger than ever and nothing will hold me back from my goals and dreams.

Late Night Blogging

For once in my life I'm in the house on a Saturday and I'm bored as ever! Why am I sitting in the house? I guess its because I'm still tired from partying so hard these past couple of days. I've been lounging around the house all day and I just don't feel like doing much so I decided to write a blog. I don't really have to much to say but there are a bunch of random things on my mind. So I'll start with the fact that my besti is coming to visit me in May and I can't wait! I've been through a lot of shit as far as friends go and it feels good to know that I still have a few close ones. Plus I have not seen her in a minute and I miss her!

I can't wait for the summer! Its gonna be a good one! I got all kinds of trips planned out! I'm going to Black Bike Week, In Myrtle Beach, SC in May...that is gonna be ridiculous! Then I have a family reunion in Columbia, SC which will be held on July 4th. I will be going to see my other Besti, Brother and Grandfather in NC sometime in June, plus I will be going back to Vegas...I can't wait! My summer is gonna be off the chain! Not to mention the fashion shows, photo shoots, and promotions I have coming up!!!!

I miss my mom...I really wish that my dad had been the one to move to ATL and not my mom, but what's done is done. I know we didn't get along too much when I was younger but it was only because she never let me do shit! But now that I'm grown and I look back and I'm like damn I was a fuck up...all she wanted to do was make sure I didn't end up like a lot of these loser mofos around here ended up which is pregnant, loser, no high school diploma. I don't regret anything I ever did but I do wish me and my mom were closer.

Sometimes I sit and wish I was a kid again, no worries in the world and your only job is to go to school and do good! I feel like my childhood was rushed and I had to grow up so fast! There are a lot of things I kinda wish I had done but when I sit and think about I'm like if it were meant for me to do it then I would have done it. I also wonder where my life is gonna take me, I know I'm not supposed to know but it would be nice to have a sneak peek into the future to see what's in store for me. Well I have went on long enough with my random thoughts...guess I'm gonna watch a movie until I fall asleep...goodnight:)

Floyd's and Blue Motorcycles

Damn I'm tired and I don't feel good...

I decided to co-host a party last night at Floyd's; its a lounge/bar...with pool tables and a dance floor [its actually a really nice spot...i may have to have a party there] and it was so weak that I drank entirely too much! Yes for the first time in a long time I got sick from drinking...lmao...now I'm sitting here at work blown and sick! I wanna go home sooooo bad and lay in my bed! I know that's not gonna happen though because its Friday and you already know I'm partying tonight! I'm probably gonna go home and at least try to take a nap. Even though that joint was weak I still had fun, my co-host got the crowd all excited and I was rockin like shit to the music! I think blue motorcycles are gonna be my new favorite drink cuz I was Ripped...they taste so good that's probably why I had so many and that's probably why I don't feel good...hahahahahaa:) Overall I had a good time and I can't wait to do it again!

For those of you who have never had it...here is the receipe.
1 oz vodka

1 oz rum

1 oz gin

1 oz Blue Curacao liqueur

fill with Sprite® soda

Fill glass with ice, add the ingredients, shake and serve.

Sex Addict

I think I need help...for whatever reason sex is always on my mind! I don't know why and I can't help but think about it. My mind is so vivid that I sometimes feel like I'm there...having sex...wild right! I know. Is it because sex is the #1 seller in America or do I just have a perverted mind? I like to try all kinds of toys and positions and I can definitely say that I don't have any complaints in the sex department. lololol.

Its so bad that I'm thinking about having sex right now...too bad Greg is going out of town lmao...now I gotta wait until he gets back...ugggh! But seriously is there something wrong with me? Is it wrong for me to want to have sex all the time? I know they say women think about sex more than men but got damn...this is serious. I like to go all night non-stop with no distractions or interruptions; in other words I like to have sexual eruptions but not just from me...from him too! I aim to please and I enjoy knowing I have made him cum...watching his toes curl and his eyes roll to the back of his head.

My favorite position is doggy style...yes I love it from the back! I love for him to be in control! I love the sound of him beating it up and smacking my ass at the same time. I even enjoy the hair pulling...OK let me not get to graphic lol...see what I'm saying I have a freakin problem...lmao

Dear Daddy...

I do love you but I hate you at the same time! Why did you have to leave, why couldn't it be worked out? Were you cheating on mom or was she tripping like she usually is? Why aren't you here for me and Tai? Why, why, why???? We were so close at one point and now we don't talk at all. I know you have made numerous efforts to make things right between us, but I can honestly say things will never be the same between us and I don't care. I know I'm a grown ass woman but it hurts Dad...it hurts that at one point I was a daddy's girl and now we don't talk.
I hate you for treating mom the way you did, I hate you for walking out on them, I hate you for not being a man and taking care of your responsibilities. I hate you for never sticking up for me when mom took it to a whole new level. I hate you for all the broken promises, but most of all I hate you for not being there when Tai and I needed you the most!
It all started when you got rid of Rufus...I know it sounds dumb but that is when our relationship went down hill. How could you take something from me that you know meant soooo much to me and not care?? How could you look me in the face knowing you got rid of something so close to my heart...and you did it with no emotion or concern for how I felt. You didn't even tell me...
You were never there for me in high school...I know I was a fuck up but damn dad sometimes all I wanted to do was have a little fun and even when you knew from the bottom of your heart that mom was wrong you still sat there and did nothing. You watched me get put on punishment for weeks at a time for the stupidest shit! for example: coming in the house literally 5mins late! I'm past all of that now...but I just don't get it, I don't understand why you never had a say so in anything I did. There were so many things I wanted to do, and you just let mom shoot my dreams right down the drain!
I want to make things right but I can't! My mind tells me to get over because people get divorced everyday but my heart says No don't forgive him! The nigga was wrong in every aspect. Hopefully I will overcome this hatred for you but until then I cannot speak to you or see you because its just not the same.
I Love You Dad....

Pure Evil

I am convinced that my body has been taking over by some type of evil force...no not the Devil or a Demon cuz I don't believe in that but I do believe some people are just evil; and I think I have become one of those people. I don't wish evil or bad things on people but when something happens to someone I hate no matter how bad the situation is I have absolutely no remorse for them and I just may giggle about it. I know this sounds wrong but why should I care? I mean is it wrong for me to happy because someone I can't stand is hurting? Is it wrong for me to hope something else bad happens. Sometimes I feel bad for being so evil but most of the time I don't take people's emotions into consideration. I used to be emotionally unstable, crying if something happened or if someone did something to me, but now I have a fuck you pay me type attitude. I don't care how you feel, what you think, or say. I don't know if my attitude is like this because of the absence of my grandmother or if its because my parents are divorced. Maybe its because my dad is not there for me and my sister like he should be, maybe its becasue I've been through a lot of shit or maybe its because of my childhood. I don't know, but I do know its getting bad. Its getting to the point where something evil is always on my mind. I have thought about getting revenge on those who have done something to me in the past and just overall fucking their whole life up but I figured karma is a bitch and she always comes around when you least expect it! So I ask myself where do these evil thoughts come from and why do I take such pleasure in them?? These evil thoughts come from my soul; they come from the evil lurking deep within me; the evil that is dying to come out! Its crazy but I'm scared because I don't know what I'm capable of, but I do know that this evil presence in me wants to be released...

Weekend Recap

My weekend was the best! I had so much fun and i must admit it was nice to see my high school buddies ! We drank good, ate good and danced the night away. That was the first all nighter I've pulled in a while! And let me tell you, i made the cd's and screwed them all up! lololol...i sat behind this computer for hours making those cd's and I still managed to screw them up! I had music on them that I didn't even know...heheheheehe:0) Then Roni made this good long island ice tea; which was her own concoction, and I had vodka and orange juice so I was in the ZONE!

The party was so crazy that Roni's neighbor John came over to party and I'm sure it was the best night of his life( look at the pictures!) There was no fighting and no one in the building called the police suprisingly! I also wanna say that I enjoyed being wit Dee, cuz that's how it used to be between us, we used to do that shit every weekend, we used to just get fucked up, take dumb ass pictures, gossip and have a good ass time! i dunno what happend, and I know this will probably never be the same but I do love ya Bitch and I hope we can keep all the bullshit behind us and chill more often but if not just know I'm still here:) Overall we had a great time! and I'm gonna plan the next party at my place! we all came to the conclusion that we should have a function at least once a month! But there is no place like home and i was more than happy to come home and recover...chill with my baby Greg and my baby Remi! My weekend was wonderful!!!!!!!!!!

TGIF

Its Friday and I can't wait to Party! I Live for the weekends, and I can't wait until I get off work! I've been thinking about today since Monday, lmao! Me and my girls are gonna go out tonight and I will be attending a house party tomorrow...yes a house party! I know you are probably thinking is that not for kids? But its sooooo much cheaper! There will be MUSIC...Lots of food and Liquor...it don't get no better! I will probably see some old friends and I know we are going to have a good time because we always do! There will be plenty of pictures so check back!

I have two photo shoots this weekend and I'm so excited...I love being in front of the camera and I'm always excited to see how my photos are going to come out! I also love to see what areas I'm weak in so that I can work on them. I love seeing my facial expressions and my body language, I have noticed when you don't have the right body language or facial expression you can ruin what could have been a beautiful picture!

For lunch I had a Slurpee and a Cheeseburger bite from Seven11 and they hit the spot! I'm so full now and all i want to do is go home and lay down...lolololol...the day is almost over and I must admit its been pretty good. My boss left early and all my work is done so now I get to chill until 5:15! and when the clock hits 5:15 all my co-workers will see is dust! Well I'm going back to searching the Internet for the next hour...

Dave wuz here!

I was more than excited when my brother finally got here yesterday! I was so sad to see him go today and I miss him already. We did a lot of catching up last night, and we had a lot of fun. My other brother even had to come thru and show Dave some love! and a word of advice; NEVER ORDER FROM MAGAINO'S WHEN YOU AREN'T SOBER!!!!! We managed to order $50 worth of food last night for 4 people...WTF?? lmao...and it was good! But when I woke up this morning I was like I can't believe I did that dumb shit...hehehehehe=0] We stayed up drinking, watching movies and acting dumb until we all fell asleep in the living room. I woke up at like 3am like damn I need to take my happy ass to sleep, I gotta go to work in the morning...lolol!

And of course I snapped some pictures!!! He wouldn't cooperate so they are pretty shitty...he looks retard but he's not.lolol...and for whatever reason I look fat as hell but whatever...lol

Today Has Been A Good Day

For the first time in a couple of months I finally talked to my brother Dave! I'm so excited! I missed him so much! It was like he disappeared off the face of the Earth. He may not be my real brother but we are close like we are. We met a while back in College and immediately clicked! He is my down ass nigga! But unfortunately he had to go back to VA where he is originally from. We had some of the best times together and he has always been there for me! It was even to the point where if I was cooking I would call him to see if he was coming over to make sure i had a plate saved for him! We even thought about moving in together but some things happened and shit changed...
Besides that today was the big Managers meeting at my job and my role in it was to make sure breakfast and lunch were served and on time. In other words my job was to cater to everyone. Everything went well, everyone ate and everyone is full! No one had any complaints and I'm happy...it actually was not as bad as I thought it would be and it kept my Boss busy for most of the day...thank god! The day is pretty much over and now I'm sitting here wishing I was outside because its nice as hell and I can't wait for my brother to get here!!!!!! The anticipation is killing me!!!!
I've been sitting here thinking about recent events that have occurred and I can't seem to get over them...its funny to me how people can take the smallest things to a whole new level! My name is on Fire right now and I can't seem to stay off people's minds, its just crazy. I hate for people to speak of me in a bad way and I hate for people to say that I said this and I said that. I'm not scared of anyone, so I have no problem admitting to something I said or did. So, if you feel like I'm being two-faced or whatever your issue is please just address it with me. I don't understand or know where people get their information from because I don't talk to anyone that I used to talk to anymore with the exception of maybe a handful of people. I don't even have time to gossip. I'm either at work, at home or in DC either partying or modeling. Most of the friends I have made over the past couple of months don't know anyone from around here and don't associate with anyone from around here so I just don't get it. Not only that, they are all grown ass woman and men with bigger and better issues to deal with, and I clearly don't talk to 95% of the people I used to talk to so I'm baffled by the whole situation. I will admit I love knowing that hoes can't stop thinking of me but the gossip is getting old. All I want to do is succeed and live a successful life, I don't care what others think, do or say. I may be an asshole but hey that's just me...love it or exit stage left. I try my hardest to be nice to people and not start any shit but every time I let my guard down for a second some dumb bitch comes along thinking she or he knows something when in all actuality they don't know a fucking thing. So I ask myself why? Why do you care about me? Is it because you want me, do you wanna be me? do you wish you had my life, because I guarantee if you tried walking in my shoes for a day you would fail! So, what is the problem? I still have not found a valid answer for my question, but I will continue to search for one. I can almost guarantee as soon as this blog is posted, someone will turn my words into something completely off topic. But I don't care, I don't care if you don't like me, what you say about me or what you think of me. I am me and that is something you can't and will never be! Now run and tell that!